The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
