remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
