Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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