wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
