I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
