dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
