so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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