That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
