You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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