Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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