I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
