Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
