You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
