you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
this boner is exhausting
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
