Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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