I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
