Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
