I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
