Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize