I'm really into asian looking animals
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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