I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
