If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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