i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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