I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
