you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
