Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize