i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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