Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
The air taste purple.
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