Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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