apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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