Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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