she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
