it hurts more in the daytime
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
