He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
