Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize