You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
