Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
