I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
