She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
