Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
