Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
