I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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