oh fat girl friday strikes again...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
