i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
