Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize