I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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