ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
