I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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