just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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