this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
