The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm too high and old for this...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
