he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize