Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize