Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
