Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize