Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
