I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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