Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize