Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
