if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
