I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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