I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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