she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
