and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize