Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We need to get me chipped asap
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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