we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
