Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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