There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
