He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
