I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
