My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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