Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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