i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
