I'm drive I can fine osifer
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
