Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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