I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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