I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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