pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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