So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
