i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
