just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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