Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
